The NBA is like shopping.

It seems the NBA season may have peaked already. Gasol, Shaq and Marion have already been traded. Jason Kidd may or may not have been traded.

All this is great. It's interesting, keeps people focused on the league. Only problem is this happened before the all star break. Every year the most exciting thing, far and away, during all star weekend is the trade talks. Unfortunately the league was on pace to win 70 games with these trades and now it looks like there's nothing left in the tank.

What the hell am I going to think about between now and tuesday? So I'll compare some deals teams have made and are trying to make to things that have absolutely nothing to do with basketball. I'm choosing shopping for my comparison. I don't know why.

Shaq to Phoenix. I'd say it's like going to Saks, buying a thousand dollar suit, and opening a store credit card to do it. It could help you get a fantastic new job, you could also spend $3000 paying it back.

Gasol to the Lakers. The Lakers didn't need Gasol. They looked like contenders anyway (pre Kobe finger injury 6 weeks unpleasantness). It was like they had huge plasma TV, good surround sound, and some comfy couches surrounding it all, then decided to go out and get an Xbox 360 for all of it. Except they found a gift card for $500 to pay for it (Kwame Browns contract) and the cashier somehow rang it up for 30% off (Chris Wallace will be playing the cashier, a role he will probably be playing in another two years. By playing I mean it will actually be his vocation).

Kidd to Mavs. I'm not really sure that the Mavs get anything out of this, so it's more like transferring the balance from a low interest rate credit card to a high interest rate rewards credit card. Then defaulting on half the money you owe (resigning Stackhouse after he's bought out). Then the janitor at the credit card company throws out your application because he doesn't want to live in New Jersey for 4 months.

Anything Isiah Thomas tries to do. I'd compare this to a crack-head walking around with a 6 foot length of garden hose, his shoes, and a football phone and trying to trade it to anyone who will give him 3 consecutive minutes for an '89 Cadillac El Dorado that's missing both doors, the trunk, and has blood all over the seats. It also has one of those orange stickers stating that the owner will owe $400 for towing fee's if the car isn't moved within 48 hours.

Anything the Cavs try to do. If the Lakers found a $500 gift card, and Isiah has some garden hose and a football phone to trade, then the Cavs have a $10 old navy gift card. Ira Newble's expiring contract is a $10 old navy gift card. You can't get much for it, there's not many places to use it, and when you can use it there's nothing you really want. Then there's the problem that they have to use the gift card under a leg of the coffee table to keep it from wobbling with all the injuries, so they're not even sure they can use it if they want to.

Anything involving Ron Artest. It's like buying and selling drugs people. You could end up in jail, you could end up dead, you could end up with your whole life ruined. You could also end up having a lot of fun (kids- don't do drugs). If only we could hook Ron up with Isiah, in terms of this strictly non basketball comparison it makes endless sense.

I'm just going to take a moment to apologize for the inanity of my column. I'm overwhelmed and disappointed right now. I'm sorry.